I'm in it...
I feel like I need to rethink my entire strategy. I think I need to rethink my goals. I need new aspirations. I've always been better at just going, as opposed to going to a specific destination. Not that I have anything against destinations...
Some days are fine and great, but some days this sucks.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, January 01, 2009
"What's your favourite subject?"
This was the first thing Anna asked me when I met her, stepping out of Zig's into a warm, humid night in Sudbury. The street was less stifling than the club, but the atmosphere was On us, clinging like our wet-from-dancing-too-much clothing.
In another context I would have answered "sex," but she was referring to my camera. Without hesitation I told her "People. Always people, they're more fascinating than anything. I fuckin' hate landscapes..."
It's a lie, in fact. I don't hate shooting landscapes. The point was that there is far too much landscape photography in the media we are all exposed to. I suppose defining the point of some subjects and differentiating the relevance of them is the real thrust here, instead of just telling you what my favourites are.
It is possible to arbitrarily divide topics into mountains of little categories. Surely everybody does it, just for simplification? Without special consideration, here we go:
– People > Portrait, Random, Drinking Photos, Fashion, Art
– Landscape > Urban, Not Urban (this is by far the larger category)
– Nature > Animals, Plants (> flowers, not flowers), Other (last one was creative eh?)
– Objects > I really haven't sub-divided this category. I suppose I don't shoot enough
objects to make it worth distinguishing.
There they are. By all means if you think of something else, mention it so I can fit it in somewhere or make space for it.
Since I defamed landscapes to Anna, I suppose I rather Owe them and should comment on why so many of them do, in fact, Suck.
A landscape necessarily encompasses a certain area. I think of an open field as the smallest unit of landscape. To shoot the facade of a building, or even the full building itself, is not usually a landscape so much as a single subject. Landscapes must present us manouevering room and show us how to navigate an area.
Too often there are landscapes that are too wide open, lacking any point of interest to anchor us. Inversely, the larger scale of a proper landscape often obscures any point of interest intended to anchor us, making it smaller, degrandizing it, stealing it's impact.
So What? Who Cares? Here's the crux of landscapes: The shooter was There. There is no denying the fact the geography one is surrounded by has an impact on us all. This is the key reason people will tend to shoot landscapes. They are shooting to make a reminder of this place where they stood that was instilling something into that moment lived by the shooter - emotion probably.
You and I weren't there, of course. In a vast majority of instances, we never will be there. That's okay still, if the shooter simply wants to use the image to illustrate a point of fact like "that's the field and on the side here is the cliff that we pushed the car over to destroy the evidence... see the scorch marks on the rock?"
People love to show you a 3x5 though, and expect you to Feeeel the grandeur and magnificence of standing wind-whipped and freezing on Kilimanjaro or wading wave-lashed throught the spray and foam into the stormy Pacific. It happens so much in fact, that I wonder how people Fail to correct this misconception of what an image can do.
An image is worth a thousand words, but here's a tip: try Writing a thousand words with it, so that the 3x5 is just a secondary. The words will become the picture itself and the picture will simply be Article A in evidence that states "yeah, it happened just like that!"
So there it is, most landscapes are only for the person who shot them. Exceptions abound. I do love to turn 180º and contradict. There are some truly magnificent landscape photographies out there that really will turn your head and make you want to be somewhere else. I find that at least half of these are quite exotic, if not unique 'scapes. It really requires Something unusual to draw you, without which you've got nothing but your memory of a place.
In contrast, we have the subject of people. In my reckoning the biggest difference is that a landscape is where we act. Perhaps it is the noun in our photographic experience. People are what we Interact with though, they are the verb. People can differ vastly amongst each other, yet faces and bodies are invariably and immediately something we can identify with. We know instinctively how to interpret them because we do it every day, all our lives. We are attuned to each nuance of expression in a face and we can admire each movement - each Moment of the body. It is easier for us to extrapolate the Feeling of a human image. We're more or less hardwired to do so anyway; I rather think we would have to work Not to do it.
I don't expect anybody to have the same purpose in photography as I do. Yet most people do have the same purpose: to communicate something, to elicit a reaction - a human reaction.
(I have tried showing photographs to several of my pets in my life; dogs, cats, birds, rats and iguanas. What they gravitate to, well I haven't been able to define any specific pattern for their predilections. My iguana seemed to react best to specific colour palettes, though my dog(s) don't see in colour, I'm told).
In another context I would have answered "sex," but she was referring to my camera. Without hesitation I told her "People. Always people, they're more fascinating than anything. I fuckin' hate landscapes..."
It's a lie, in fact. I don't hate shooting landscapes. The point was that there is far too much landscape photography in the media we are all exposed to. I suppose defining the point of some subjects and differentiating the relevance of them is the real thrust here, instead of just telling you what my favourites are.
It is possible to arbitrarily divide topics into mountains of little categories. Surely everybody does it, just for simplification? Without special consideration, here we go:
– People > Portrait, Random, Drinking Photos, Fashion, Art
– Landscape > Urban, Not Urban (this is by far the larger category)
– Nature > Animals, Plants (> flowers, not flowers), Other (last one was creative eh?)
– Objects > I really haven't sub-divided this category. I suppose I don't shoot enough
objects to make it worth distinguishing.
There they are. By all means if you think of something else, mention it so I can fit it in somewhere or make space for it.
Since I defamed landscapes to Anna, I suppose I rather Owe them and should comment on why so many of them do, in fact, Suck.
A landscape necessarily encompasses a certain area. I think of an open field as the smallest unit of landscape. To shoot the facade of a building, or even the full building itself, is not usually a landscape so much as a single subject. Landscapes must present us manouevering room and show us how to navigate an area.
Too often there are landscapes that are too wide open, lacking any point of interest to anchor us. Inversely, the larger scale of a proper landscape often obscures any point of interest intended to anchor us, making it smaller, degrandizing it, stealing it's impact.
So What? Who Cares? Here's the crux of landscapes: The shooter was There. There is no denying the fact the geography one is surrounded by has an impact on us all. This is the key reason people will tend to shoot landscapes. They are shooting to make a reminder of this place where they stood that was instilling something into that moment lived by the shooter - emotion probably.
You and I weren't there, of course. In a vast majority of instances, we never will be there. That's okay still, if the shooter simply wants to use the image to illustrate a point of fact like "that's the field and on the side here is the cliff that we pushed the car over to destroy the evidence... see the scorch marks on the rock?"
People love to show you a 3x5 though, and expect you to Feeeel the grandeur and magnificence of standing wind-whipped and freezing on Kilimanjaro or wading wave-lashed throught the spray and foam into the stormy Pacific. It happens so much in fact, that I wonder how people Fail to correct this misconception of what an image can do.
An image is worth a thousand words, but here's a tip: try Writing a thousand words with it, so that the 3x5 is just a secondary. The words will become the picture itself and the picture will simply be Article A in evidence that states "yeah, it happened just like that!"
So there it is, most landscapes are only for the person who shot them. Exceptions abound. I do love to turn 180º and contradict. There are some truly magnificent landscape photographies out there that really will turn your head and make you want to be somewhere else. I find that at least half of these are quite exotic, if not unique 'scapes. It really requires Something unusual to draw you, without which you've got nothing but your memory of a place.
In contrast, we have the subject of people. In my reckoning the biggest difference is that a landscape is where we act. Perhaps it is the noun in our photographic experience. People are what we Interact with though, they are the verb. People can differ vastly amongst each other, yet faces and bodies are invariably and immediately something we can identify with. We know instinctively how to interpret them because we do it every day, all our lives. We are attuned to each nuance of expression in a face and we can admire each movement - each Moment of the body. It is easier for us to extrapolate the Feeling of a human image. We're more or less hardwired to do so anyway; I rather think we would have to work Not to do it.
I don't expect anybody to have the same purpose in photography as I do. Yet most people do have the same purpose: to communicate something, to elicit a reaction - a human reaction.
(I have tried showing photographs to several of my pets in my life; dogs, cats, birds, rats and iguanas. What they gravitate to, well I haven't been able to define any specific pattern for their predilections. My iguana seemed to react best to specific colour palettes, though my dog(s) don't see in colour, I'm told).
Monday, December 15, 2008
4 a.m.
Pausing for the last cigarette of the evening, in an open doorway, it seems that the rain is sulfuric. In this town nobody would argue. It's more a trick of the light, I think, the sodium lamps put the yellow-orange cast across everything and glitter through each droplet - and when something is cold enough it will feel hot.
The rainwater slithers over the grey-black titanium ice - titanic ice, seeking it's level. From directly above, it looks like an aerial shot of an overflowing river spilling across the plain of a vast, unknown geography. From above, the snowbanks are like mountains rising up from and overlooking the floodplains and rivers... If one can imagine themselves several thousand feet above ground level
This notion has occurred to me before. It always leaves me feeling solitary. Witness to something that may or may not be aesthetic, but is invariably inconsequential. Perhaps this keeps things in perspective, but I'd rather be doing something relevant than simply walking home...
The rainwater slithers over the grey-black titanium ice - titanic ice, seeking it's level. From directly above, it looks like an aerial shot of an overflowing river spilling across the plain of a vast, unknown geography. From above, the snowbanks are like mountains rising up from and overlooking the floodplains and rivers... If one can imagine themselves several thousand feet above ground level
This notion has occurred to me before. It always leaves me feeling solitary. Witness to something that may or may not be aesthetic, but is invariably inconsequential. Perhaps this keeps things in perspective, but I'd rather be doing something relevant than simply walking home...
Sunday, December 07, 2008
to Framboise, somewhere in America
I suppose I'm thanking you, albeit in a backhanded way, by writing this. Your words describe somethig very close to what I was feeling. At some point. I wouldn't tell you or anybody else the specifics anyway, and that would be so besides the point.
It's never exact, is it? It seems to me that perhaps nobody ever feels Exactly the same thing, between two or more of us. Sometimes that makes it easier, doesn't it? Not quite like being alone. Then again it's also a reminder that we will always be just that. After all...
If that's all we have to connect on, then it's happened spectacularly. And quietly.
I come back over and again for the sentiments you sublimate to writing that make me feel - at least someone else has been through similar... if not the same
well anyway, thanks. You express yourself with a unique eloquence
It's never exact, is it? It seems to me that perhaps nobody ever feels Exactly the same thing, between two or more of us. Sometimes that makes it easier, doesn't it? Not quite like being alone. Then again it's also a reminder that we will always be just that. After all...
If that's all we have to connect on, then it's happened spectacularly. And quietly.
I come back over and again for the sentiments you sublimate to writing that make me feel - at least someone else has been through similar... if not the same
well anyway, thanks. You express yourself with a unique eloquence
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
measure for measure...
I was informed tonight that there is no such thing as a "half" of beer. The reference being to pints. There is, I am told, no such thing as a half-pint - "it doesn't exist."
Strange how the nomenclature has existed for so long, then, but other examples are out there.
Oh thanks, though, for enlightening me, with disdain I might add - Disdain in your Voice, to Me - that I was apparently deluded (and smelled bad?) beyond reason. Where, oh Where did such an idiotic notion come from?
"it doesn't exist."
*sigh*
For the edification of those who may come across the term, there IS in fact such a thing as a half-pint. The reference differentiates between an imperial pint which is 20 oz as compared to an american pint which is 16 oz. The "half" is roughly 10 oz. I say roughly because I'm not dead sure it's British in origin, though that's where I think I picked the phrase up: "Give us a half of Spitfire, Jimmy." Whatever.
I am deeply concerned about the state of the dram, incidentally. It may not have existed for a little while now. I'm fairly sure the jigger and nip are still intact, though the latter hasn't been heard around here for a while. In fact, god help us, there may be no 'ounce' at all soon and then we're totally screwed! How awkward would it be to stroll into a bar and ask for a "30 of Jack," (30 ml being the rough equivalent of an ounce (standard shot).
Hey, I Like metric. Metric is Good, but there are a few last bastions where the old ways should be maintained. Not for the sake of resisting change. Not even because of "tradition," no.
In the case of alcohol, I would suggest that the salient reason for leaving metric behind is that there is a separate culture. Bar culture, Cafe culture, Club culture - as well as stylish parties everywhere, are connected. Their existance is for taking us out of the daily grind of life. The more encompassing their embrace, the more successful they will be.
Standardization is an incredible technology, but the name says it all "Standard." Yes, Imperial measures are a form of standardization, nobody is arguing that. The fact is that they are uncommon enough to not Feel standard. That is why a jigger of vodka, a measure of cointreau and a splash of lime still make a Cosmo so great. Otherwise it's just booze swished together.
User defined values, of course. For some, cocktails are just a way to get drunk. Personally, though, I want the fun. If you agree, then head to a bar for a nice glass of liquor and tell the barkeep to 'pony up.'
Strange how the nomenclature has existed for so long, then, but other examples are out there.
Oh thanks, though, for enlightening me, with disdain I might add - Disdain in your Voice, to Me - that I was apparently deluded (and smelled bad?) beyond reason. Where, oh Where did such an idiotic notion come from?
"it doesn't exist."
*sigh*
For the edification of those who may come across the term, there IS in fact such a thing as a half-pint. The reference differentiates between an imperial pint which is 20 oz as compared to an american pint which is 16 oz. The "half" is roughly 10 oz. I say roughly because I'm not dead sure it's British in origin, though that's where I think I picked the phrase up: "Give us a half of Spitfire, Jimmy." Whatever.
I am deeply concerned about the state of the dram, incidentally. It may not have existed for a little while now. I'm fairly sure the jigger and nip are still intact, though the latter hasn't been heard around here for a while. In fact, god help us, there may be no 'ounce' at all soon and then we're totally screwed! How awkward would it be to stroll into a bar and ask for a "30 of Jack," (30 ml being the rough equivalent of an ounce (standard shot).
Hey, I Like metric. Metric is Good, but there are a few last bastions where the old ways should be maintained. Not for the sake of resisting change. Not even because of "tradition," no.
In the case of alcohol, I would suggest that the salient reason for leaving metric behind is that there is a separate culture. Bar culture, Cafe culture, Club culture - as well as stylish parties everywhere, are connected. Their existance is for taking us out of the daily grind of life. The more encompassing their embrace, the more successful they will be.
Standardization is an incredible technology, but the name says it all "Standard." Yes, Imperial measures are a form of standardization, nobody is arguing that. The fact is that they are uncommon enough to not Feel standard. That is why a jigger of vodka, a measure of cointreau and a splash of lime still make a Cosmo so great. Otherwise it's just booze swished together.
User defined values, of course. For some, cocktails are just a way to get drunk. Personally, though, I want the fun. If you agree, then head to a bar for a nice glass of liquor and tell the barkeep to 'pony up.'
Saturday, November 15, 2008
when drinking, don't write anything important...
1. your girlfriend ups αnd leaves you for his ex. you think what?
You're cancelled bitch. Next. No, no enmity, fuck it that's life man...
2. your girlfriend buys you flowers. you do what?
kiss her cheek. s'cute, but I don't really do flowers..
3. your ex wants to hook back up. you do what?
whisper a thank you to whatever gods are listening and try to be the best boyfriend I can be
4. your parents tell you you're moving far away from where you live now. you do what?
Wish them the best. Save money to visit at some point - sun surf and sand, baby, knowing' mah 'rents!
5. has someone ever called you beautiful?
'mongst other things..
6. you are offered α career in the spotlight. you'll be as famous as Britney. (or as she ONCE was.)
I'll be bigger than Britney, baby
8. you're driving down the road and a cat runs out in front of you. do you swirve so you don't hit it?
I wasn't supposed to be behind the wheel anyway. Dead cat. But I'd stop to see it didn't suffer.
9. your opposite sex best friend is starting to act like she likes you more than a friend. do you go along with it?
mmm.. no.
10. you're fighting alot lately. you and your bf/gf. you want to end it, but you're not sure how. what would you do?
assure them that I still care, but for both our sakes it IS over. I'm sorry, it's beyond my control. It's beyond my control... It's beyond my control
11. who were you with friday night?
Marc, Rikki, and my lovely customers. Then Cait, Evan, Adric and another person
12. what woke you up this morning?
my alarm. then a phone. then another alarm. then ...
13. where are you?
living room. West End Sudbury. Canada.
14. is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Yes it is. I will see friends I haven't seen in a while
15. did you kiss or hug anyone today?
YUP! it's not really a succesful day if one or the other didn't happen...
16. when's the last time you cried?
the end of my last relationship. Surprised I didn't cry More, really...
17. what were you doing last night?
"Major Chillin'" with Cait and Evan
18. what were you doing at midnight last night?
see above. Drinking beer. Talking abbout the blues. Listening to music of the 80s
19. what were you doing at 2:00am?
Same as question 18 but instead of talking about the blues, I was taking pictures
20. ever thrown up from a roller coaster or an amusement park?
Noo. I'm made of tougher stuff. I love the feeling of motion and sudden changes in my vector
21. what's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
lyrics of the song that's playing; friends; pizza...
22. where would you like to live?
Koln, Caymans, Tokyo, Seoul, Moscow (briefly), Montreal, San Antonio, Rio de Janeiro, Montevideo, Paris, London, Jakarta or Hong Kong, PRAGUE!, Budapest, Pretoria, Arkansas, Munchen, Helsinki, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Sophia, anywhere in Antarctica for a brief spell, Fiji, Barcelona, Vancouver, Los Angeles, New York, Las Vegas, Monaco, Tenerife, Madagascar, Cairo, Jerusalem, Tripoli, Portugal, Macchu Picchu, Atlantis --- not in that order, and the list has been shortened Severely...
23. what kind of home would you like when you grow up?
If I haven't grown up yet I never will! But I don't need a mansion. Something just big enough for me, a partner and six occasional guests...
24. what do you want to be when you grow up?
Too many things to think of! Fireman, Astronaut, Spy, President of the world, International relief worker, Actor, Rockstar?, truck driver, Lifeguard, bartender, PR agent, Consultant
and more!
25. where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Hate this question! I can't account for that just yet. But not here.
26. what is the longest you have gone without checking your myspace?
Don't use it.
27. who was the last person that sent you a message?
Ms. Cox, a writer from New Jersey. Interesting young lady...
28. are you friends with this person?
Officially yes. New friends. We aim to read each other's writing. (Hope she's not disappointed).
29. how often do you log in to myspcace?
Never. Daily on other sites, though
30. what do you like to do when you're in your car?
Drive! Pure aesthetics! music is mandatory. Speak without words to the passengers who understand me
31. do you like candy necklaces?
Yeah! I love 'em. I buy them for other people and judge them according to whether they accept them or not - or eat them or not, etc... s'true. I wonder who wrote this and chose candy necklaces? They really hit the button with that one
32. when was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
Three hours ago, in fact. Ran into the corner of the bar, but failed to spill any of the drinks I was toting! Damn I'm good!
33. do you listen to music every day?
If I go six hours without music, you can bet i was asleep
34. why'd your last relationship fail?
Circumstance, like any other. Nevermind. Shut up.
35. what was the last thing you ate?
Smoked salmon wrapped around a cheese stick with cream cheese and capers! Mmmmmm! about to have pizza though
36. is it the weekend?
oh yes, yes it is.
37. what are you doing tonight?
Work. Home. Wine. Write. Movie. Bed
38. what's your favorite soda?
I'm giving up soft drinks cuz they lie to me
39. ever moved?
What kind of idiot question is that? Of course, who Hasn't moved? Pfff
40. favorite sport to watch?
Soccer. Just read the blogs from 2006 and it will be obvious
41. what do you want right now?
To kill a half of Jack, and immediately board a plane for Arkansas or Vancouver (or Tokyo) and not have to sleep in the next two months. To have the faith that I could always come back, even though I wouldn't.
42. are you listening to music right now?
Of course! Always. What's a life without it?
43. do you like summer break or christmas break better?
Xmass just breaks my stride when I was finding my pace. Summer lasts and it's hotter.
44. what was the last tv show you watched?
I haven't the foggiest, to be honest. It's TV, who really cares?
45. last reason you threw up?
Drinking, naturally. The only reason I ever actually throw up. Too much - or at least, too quick..
46. best place to eat?
My House!!! Damn straight.
47. what time is it?
2:13 a.m.
48. what should you be doing right now?
Celebrating with someone I love spending time with
49. what are your pet peeves?
Stupidity. Bad drivers (variant of stupidity). People who get in my way. STupidity...
50. what song makes you cry?
No song does that currently, though there have been several over the years - starting with Paint It Black... lol
51. what song makes you happy?
Sooo many, but #1 is probably still Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel
52. what do you listen to before you go to bed?
Music, Duhhhhh,... What Kind of music? differs by the day
53. what does your mp3/ipod player have in it right now?
It has about 20 Gb of music. Couldn't start to name it all. All styles, all eras. I'm eclectic.
54. if you were a crayon what color would you be?
I would be a special colour called "Charlie"
55. what makes you happy?
Love, Life, Music and Media, Friends, Family, Lovers, Animals, Good Books, Compliments, Connections (understanding other people), Motion, Scotch and Wine, Continuance...
57. what is your favorite state?
Control.
58. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I can't say, it might not help me get there...
59. what is the farthest from home you have ever been?
5600+ km...
Your name plus "y"?
Jasony - Charliey - Simacy ... "Heyyyou!" lol
Two feelings at the moment?
Warm, Still
What are you listening to right now?
Teenage Riot (in a public station, gonna fight, tear it up in a hypernation...)
Sonic Youth!
What are you craving to have right now?
Sex, Travel and Chocolate with Alcohol - in that order
What are you scared of?
Lately, nothing. And that's stupid. I should be scared of my erratic behaviour a few months ago, but I'm not. I should be scared at how slowly I'm progressing, but I'm not. I should be scared that... oh well nevermind. Right now I fear nothing and that's a little too cocky for my tastes.
Do you have to work tomorrow?
Nope. Nor the day after (Monday). Nor the day after That (Tuesday)!
How many houses have you lived in?
Many many houses. Very few homes.
Last friend you talked to online?
Kat Maslakow; four questions ago!
Who was the last person to text message you?
Evan Bergstra, responding to my question whether my Sarah Polly wine opener was it has place: "It's here! :)"
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
8th Grade. They said I looked like Kirk Cameron. It never got me anywhere...
What did you realize today?
the benefit of holding place in Silverware
Hold hands with anyone today?
No, unfortunately, but I hugged somebody
What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning?
Passed out cold. It IS the weekend, y'know.
What will you be doing tomorrow?
Clean the rat cage, visit Pete and Sandra, dinner, write, wine, movie, bed...
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes and Most of them were incredibly disappointing. There was one, however, where I was even inspired to get a lapdance. (it would have happened anyway, I'm told). It's the Only Peeler club that measured up, and it was in the same building as a Church!
What is the best ice cream flavor?
Tiger Tail, Cookie Dough, all forms of Chocolate, Bubble gum and ... believe it or not... Vanilla (if done well). Bill and Shannons French Vanilla / Ginger Ice Cream was Un-Fuckin'-Believable!!!
What was the last thing you cried about?
the end of my last relationship. My girlfriend was not just special, she was simply a superior being
What are you wearing right now?
Black dress shirt made of mostly synthetic fibres, black work pants, thin black socks (apparently with a small hole in the baby toe...), black tie with little skulls all over, Lorus Kinetic watch, Axe body spray, Black boxer/briefs by Senza (Incredibly comfortable)! In about two minutes I will also have on a two decade old leather jacket with steel studding through the lapels, a pillbox military cap (also black) and a black greatcoat.
Have you bought any drugs this month?
Oh sweetie, I don't Payyyy for drugs. I mean really. I haven't done any this month either, but you asked the question all wrong
Day been rough?
Today, yeah! not smooth at all. Same with most of yesterday
look to your left, what do you see?
Large goblet of Cabernet Shiraz, several DVDs and CDs, broom on chair (over my roomies' jackets), Rock Band Guitar controller, tripod, second computer, dishwasher on floor, scanneer and my flask... my flask.... my flask which Should be full of Jameson's Irish Whiskey! Hmmmm... back in ten minutes
Do you use chapstick?
Rarely, but sometimes. Cherry Coke flavoured. I'm such a loser.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
The reduced hours I work.
Last song listened to?
Expressway to Your Skull is just ending. Before that was New York Was Great, by the Raveonettes
Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
There are always a rare few that I hate. I think I need that for balance. There is currently nobody for whom my hate is incandescent; just a few chronic, dull, petulant hates that could be corrected quickly if we only had the time and inclination.
Are you waiting for something?
I've been waiting for Something all my life. But nothing specific. Not at the moment.
Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
I've tried that before. I don't do drugs like when I was younger and I know it wouldn't mesh well if I tried, because I'm not out to change anybody. Ya gots ta be who ya gots ta be.
Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
I ...
Think so. It isn't who I would have Expected, but life throws us some curves. There is one person at least that I think I could say literally Anything to. What a nice feeling!
Is there someone you want to fight?
I'm a lover, not a fighter. Lately I haven't been either, but that's how I roll - nonviolent, see?
Has any one ever told you they'll love you forever no matter what?
Yes and I believe some of them still do (in their way).
When was the last time you were disappointed?
Last night! and I was fucking irate too!
What is wrong with you right now?
Jesus! uhmmm, I will be honest with myself tomorrow...
k, I could be richer, smarter, faster, adored by hordes of beautiful women; I could be teaching myself right now - sign language or guitar...
Who was last to cook for you?
Toppazini!
What does your best friend call you?
Many things. Each of my friends has more than one name for me, generally. Who IS my BEST friend?
Do you know who Brendon Urie is?
Why even ask that when you could tell us...
What are you excited about?
just now? hearing back from a few people in particular. Excited about the next concert I see
Do you like coffee?
See my commentary on music...
Have you drank any milk today?
ewwwww, Raunch! do people Really drink milk Raw?
How about orange juice?
Mmmmmm! delicious! Yes I did and it was nuuuuuu-tritious!
Do you like the taste of blood?
most human blood actually doesn't taste too bad (in my experience)
What was the last thing you bought?
a pizza, pay attention!
When is the next concert you’re attending?
December 12 or 13 I hope...
What color are your eyes?
Green / grey / Gold
What’s your favorite movie?
*sigh* No. not again. Ask an original question
How many months till your birthday?
two and a half, and I already know what I hope to do for it!
Pepsi or Coke?
Already talked about this, what a vapid fucking question.
You're cancelled bitch. Next. No, no enmity, fuck it that's life man...
2. your girlfriend buys you flowers. you do what?
kiss her cheek. s'cute, but I don't really do flowers..
3. your ex wants to hook back up. you do what?
whisper a thank you to whatever gods are listening and try to be the best boyfriend I can be
4. your parents tell you you're moving far away from where you live now. you do what?
Wish them the best. Save money to visit at some point - sun surf and sand, baby, knowing' mah 'rents!
5. has someone ever called you beautiful?
'mongst other things..
6. you are offered α career in the spotlight. you'll be as famous as Britney. (or as she ONCE was.)
I'll be bigger than Britney, baby
8. you're driving down the road and a cat runs out in front of you. do you swirve so you don't hit it?
I wasn't supposed to be behind the wheel anyway. Dead cat. But I'd stop to see it didn't suffer.
9. your opposite sex best friend is starting to act like she likes you more than a friend. do you go along with it?
mmm.. no.
10. you're fighting alot lately. you and your bf/gf. you want to end it, but you're not sure how. what would you do?
assure them that I still care, but for both our sakes it IS over. I'm sorry, it's beyond my control. It's beyond my control... It's beyond my control
11. who were you with friday night?
Marc, Rikki, and my lovely customers. Then Cait, Evan, Adric and another person
12. what woke you up this morning?
my alarm. then a phone. then another alarm. then ...
13. where are you?
living room. West End Sudbury. Canada.
14. is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Yes it is. I will see friends I haven't seen in a while
15. did you kiss or hug anyone today?
YUP! it's not really a succesful day if one or the other didn't happen...
16. when's the last time you cried?
the end of my last relationship. Surprised I didn't cry More, really...
17. what were you doing last night?
"Major Chillin'" with Cait and Evan
18. what were you doing at midnight last night?
see above. Drinking beer. Talking abbout the blues. Listening to music of the 80s
19. what were you doing at 2:00am?
Same as question 18 but instead of talking about the blues, I was taking pictures
20. ever thrown up from a roller coaster or an amusement park?
Noo. I'm made of tougher stuff. I love the feeling of motion and sudden changes in my vector
21. what's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
lyrics of the song that's playing; friends; pizza...
22. where would you like to live?
Koln, Caymans, Tokyo, Seoul, Moscow (briefly), Montreal, San Antonio, Rio de Janeiro, Montevideo, Paris, London, Jakarta or Hong Kong, PRAGUE!, Budapest, Pretoria, Arkansas, Munchen, Helsinki, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Sophia, anywhere in Antarctica for a brief spell, Fiji, Barcelona, Vancouver, Los Angeles, New York, Las Vegas, Monaco, Tenerife, Madagascar, Cairo, Jerusalem, Tripoli, Portugal, Macchu Picchu, Atlantis --- not in that order, and the list has been shortened Severely...
23. what kind of home would you like when you grow up?
If I haven't grown up yet I never will! But I don't need a mansion. Something just big enough for me, a partner and six occasional guests...
24. what do you want to be when you grow up?
Too many things to think of! Fireman, Astronaut, Spy, President of the world, International relief worker, Actor, Rockstar?, truck driver, Lifeguard, bartender, PR agent, Consultant
and more!
25. where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Hate this question! I can't account for that just yet. But not here.
26. what is the longest you have gone without checking your myspace?
Don't use it.
27. who was the last person that sent you a message?
Ms. Cox, a writer from New Jersey. Interesting young lady...
28. are you friends with this person?
Officially yes. New friends. We aim to read each other's writing. (Hope she's not disappointed).
29. how often do you log in to myspcace?
Never. Daily on other sites, though
30. what do you like to do when you're in your car?
Drive! Pure aesthetics! music is mandatory. Speak without words to the passengers who understand me
31. do you like candy necklaces?
Yeah! I love 'em. I buy them for other people and judge them according to whether they accept them or not - or eat them or not, etc... s'true. I wonder who wrote this and chose candy necklaces? They really hit the button with that one
32. when was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
Three hours ago, in fact. Ran into the corner of the bar, but failed to spill any of the drinks I was toting! Damn I'm good!
33. do you listen to music every day?
If I go six hours without music, you can bet i was asleep
34. why'd your last relationship fail?
Circumstance, like any other. Nevermind. Shut up.
35. what was the last thing you ate?
Smoked salmon wrapped around a cheese stick with cream cheese and capers! Mmmmmm! about to have pizza though
36. is it the weekend?
oh yes, yes it is.
37. what are you doing tonight?
Work. Home. Wine. Write. Movie. Bed
38. what's your favorite soda?
I'm giving up soft drinks cuz they lie to me
39. ever moved?
What kind of idiot question is that? Of course, who Hasn't moved? Pfff
40. favorite sport to watch?
Soccer. Just read the blogs from 2006 and it will be obvious
41. what do you want right now?
To kill a half of Jack, and immediately board a plane for Arkansas or Vancouver (or Tokyo) and not have to sleep in the next two months. To have the faith that I could always come back, even though I wouldn't.
42. are you listening to music right now?
Of course! Always. What's a life without it?
43. do you like summer break or christmas break better?
Xmass just breaks my stride when I was finding my pace. Summer lasts and it's hotter.
44. what was the last tv show you watched?
I haven't the foggiest, to be honest. It's TV, who really cares?
45. last reason you threw up?
Drinking, naturally. The only reason I ever actually throw up. Too much - or at least, too quick..
46. best place to eat?
My House!!! Damn straight.
47. what time is it?
2:13 a.m.
48. what should you be doing right now?
Celebrating with someone I love spending time with
49. what are your pet peeves?
Stupidity. Bad drivers (variant of stupidity). People who get in my way. STupidity...
50. what song makes you cry?
No song does that currently, though there have been several over the years - starting with Paint It Black... lol
51. what song makes you happy?
Sooo many, but #1 is probably still Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel
52. what do you listen to before you go to bed?
Music, Duhhhhh,... What Kind of music? differs by the day
53. what does your mp3/ipod player have in it right now?
It has about 20 Gb of music. Couldn't start to name it all. All styles, all eras. I'm eclectic.
54. if you were a crayon what color would you be?
I would be a special colour called "Charlie"
55. what makes you happy?
Love, Life, Music and Media, Friends, Family, Lovers, Animals, Good Books, Compliments, Connections (understanding other people), Motion, Scotch and Wine, Continuance...
57. what is your favorite state?
Control.
58. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I can't say, it might not help me get there...
59. what is the farthest from home you have ever been?
5600+ km...
Your name plus "y"?
Jasony - Charliey - Simacy ... "Heyyyou!" lol
Two feelings at the moment?
Warm, Still
What are you listening to right now?
Teenage Riot (in a public station, gonna fight, tear it up in a hypernation...)
Sonic Youth!
What are you craving to have right now?
Sex, Travel and Chocolate with Alcohol - in that order
What are you scared of?
Lately, nothing. And that's stupid. I should be scared of my erratic behaviour a few months ago, but I'm not. I should be scared at how slowly I'm progressing, but I'm not. I should be scared that... oh well nevermind. Right now I fear nothing and that's a little too cocky for my tastes.
Do you have to work tomorrow?
Nope. Nor the day after (Monday). Nor the day after That (Tuesday)!
How many houses have you lived in?
Many many houses. Very few homes.
Last friend you talked to online?
Kat Maslakow; four questions ago!
Who was the last person to text message you?
Evan Bergstra, responding to my question whether my Sarah Polly wine opener was it has place: "It's here! :)"
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
8th Grade. They said I looked like Kirk Cameron. It never got me anywhere...
What did you realize today?
the benefit of holding place in Silverware
Hold hands with anyone today?
No, unfortunately, but I hugged somebody
What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning?
Passed out cold. It IS the weekend, y'know.
What will you be doing tomorrow?
Clean the rat cage, visit Pete and Sandra, dinner, write, wine, movie, bed...
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes and Most of them were incredibly disappointing. There was one, however, where I was even inspired to get a lapdance. (it would have happened anyway, I'm told). It's the Only Peeler club that measured up, and it was in the same building as a Church!
What is the best ice cream flavor?
Tiger Tail, Cookie Dough, all forms of Chocolate, Bubble gum and ... believe it or not... Vanilla (if done well). Bill and Shannons French Vanilla / Ginger Ice Cream was Un-Fuckin'-Believable!!!
What was the last thing you cried about?
the end of my last relationship. My girlfriend was not just special, she was simply a superior being
What are you wearing right now?
Black dress shirt made of mostly synthetic fibres, black work pants, thin black socks (apparently with a small hole in the baby toe...), black tie with little skulls all over, Lorus Kinetic watch, Axe body spray, Black boxer/briefs by Senza (Incredibly comfortable)! In about two minutes I will also have on a two decade old leather jacket with steel studding through the lapels, a pillbox military cap (also black) and a black greatcoat.
Have you bought any drugs this month?
Oh sweetie, I don't Payyyy for drugs. I mean really. I haven't done any this month either, but you asked the question all wrong
Day been rough?
Today, yeah! not smooth at all. Same with most of yesterday
look to your left, what do you see?
Large goblet of Cabernet Shiraz, several DVDs and CDs, broom on chair (over my roomies' jackets), Rock Band Guitar controller, tripod, second computer, dishwasher on floor, scanneer and my flask... my flask.... my flask which Should be full of Jameson's Irish Whiskey! Hmmmm... back in ten minutes
Do you use chapstick?
Rarely, but sometimes. Cherry Coke flavoured. I'm such a loser.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
The reduced hours I work.
Last song listened to?
Expressway to Your Skull is just ending. Before that was New York Was Great, by the Raveonettes
Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
There are always a rare few that I hate. I think I need that for balance. There is currently nobody for whom my hate is incandescent; just a few chronic, dull, petulant hates that could be corrected quickly if we only had the time and inclination.
Are you waiting for something?
I've been waiting for Something all my life. But nothing specific. Not at the moment.
Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
I've tried that before. I don't do drugs like when I was younger and I know it wouldn't mesh well if I tried, because I'm not out to change anybody. Ya gots ta be who ya gots ta be.
Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
I ...
Think so. It isn't who I would have Expected, but life throws us some curves. There is one person at least that I think I could say literally Anything to. What a nice feeling!
Is there someone you want to fight?
I'm a lover, not a fighter. Lately I haven't been either, but that's how I roll - nonviolent, see?
Has any one ever told you they'll love you forever no matter what?
Yes and I believe some of them still do (in their way).
When was the last time you were disappointed?
Last night! and I was fucking irate too!
What is wrong with you right now?
Jesus! uhmmm, I will be honest with myself tomorrow...
k, I could be richer, smarter, faster, adored by hordes of beautiful women; I could be teaching myself right now - sign language or guitar...
Who was last to cook for you?
Toppazini!
What does your best friend call you?
Many things. Each of my friends has more than one name for me, generally. Who IS my BEST friend?
Do you know who Brendon Urie is?
Why even ask that when you could tell us...
What are you excited about?
just now? hearing back from a few people in particular. Excited about the next concert I see
Do you like coffee?
See my commentary on music...
Have you drank any milk today?
ewwwww, Raunch! do people Really drink milk Raw?
How about orange juice?
Mmmmmm! delicious! Yes I did and it was nuuuuuu-tritious!
Do you like the taste of blood?
most human blood actually doesn't taste too bad (in my experience)
What was the last thing you bought?
a pizza, pay attention!
When is the next concert you’re attending?
December 12 or 13 I hope...
What color are your eyes?
Green / grey / Gold
What’s your favorite movie?
*sigh* No. not again. Ask an original question
How many months till your birthday?
two and a half, and I already know what I hope to do for it!
Pepsi or Coke?
Already talked about this, what a vapid fucking question.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
in consideration of the recent past
To the people who have seen me doing stupid things and making an ass of myself: Thank you for your tolerance.
To the people who would be hurt by things I've done: I'm sorry. Simple words don't make up for everything, but it's an important start.
To the people I've annoyed: I will be more what I was when you met me and first became interested
To the people I've been good with / to / for / you-get-the-idea: I hope to continue in the same manner.
Once again, I'm seeing where the good can come out of a bad circumstance, or fucked up situation. There are those that say as long as you can keep finding that element, then you're still on the right track. Perhaps that's overly charitable, but there is a kernel of truth in it.
This is not to suggest that we cling to tiny truths in justification of our shortcomings. It's just good to know.
To the people who would be hurt by things I've done: I'm sorry. Simple words don't make up for everything, but it's an important start.
To the people I've annoyed: I will be more what I was when you met me and first became interested
To the people I've been good with / to / for / you-get-the-idea: I hope to continue in the same manner.
Once again, I'm seeing where the good can come out of a bad circumstance, or fucked up situation. There are those that say as long as you can keep finding that element, then you're still on the right track. Perhaps that's overly charitable, but there is a kernel of truth in it.
This is not to suggest that we cling to tiny truths in justification of our shortcomings. It's just good to know.
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